Beggars can't be choosers

Today's incident didn't happen while on Calgary Transit,

but occurred on my walk home- just minding my own business,

eager to get back to my apartment because at this point my arms were tired from

carrying some pretty heavy grocery bags.

A man takes out his headphones and I get the good ol' "Excuse me miss, can I have 50 cents for the bus?".

 Here's where things get tricky. 

I have had this situation happen many times before but I don't make a habit out of giving change to the potentially (because who knows, really) homeless people because of the obvious 

a) you don't really know what that's going towards and 

b) it puts you in a vulnerable position to be taken advantage of. 

I'll be honest, I didn't even check or try to find change for this guy because it would have involved setting my bags down (potential loss), and he looked pretty sketchy and truthfully did not look in need in any way. 

He had a fairly nice, clean hoodie on and looked like he kept his facial hair in order 

so I didn't feel too bad about saying "Sorry, I don't have any change on me"

But he persisted, "I just want 50 cents for the bus!" He says, showing me his other two quarters, and making me wonder what bus he could possibly be taking that only charges one dollar.

Again I say "Sorry, I just don't have any on me" (I know I know, I'm a liar)

After I turn to walk away he says "F*ck you"

 

--------------------

It's worth noting that most of the inquiries for cash I've dealt with have involved me declining and the other person saying "Oh, it's okay" or something along those lines, and then we both go on our way. Not all those who ask for money from you are angry and rude. 

Now what really bothered me about this

and other similar interactions in the past is that now, the "disadvantaged" are attempting to take advantage of you, and not only that, they will make you feel bad about it. 

I do sympathize with those who are down on their luck, and if I have a piece of food on me, (which I usually do, because I snack all day long) I will offer that to them instead- that way you know they are at least going to get something healthy in them and not blow it on other substances.

A similar situation happened when I was in San Francisco on a family vacation. It is also worth noting that the homeless population of San Fran is at least 10x what it is in Calgary, despite having a smaller population. 

We were walking home from dinner, and a woman approached us, telling us her life story and at the very end, asks for some money so she can go buy a hamburger. I happened to have my left over pizza from the restaurant we were at and offered that to her instead, but she said "Oh no no I don't want your charity, I don't want pizza, just money for a burger". 

Ummmm..... 

So, no to high quality pizza and yes to a hamburger. Seems legit. 

I offered it to her once more and she declined again, despite looking actually homeless, and then we walked away. It amazed me how people can try and be so picky and inconsiderate when they "need" something.

I think it is safe to say though, that in both these negative situations, the money was not going where they said it would be- after repeat interactions of this sort- you get really good at being able to tell who is genuine and who is either lying to you, trying to rip you off, or both.

Now in the same day (earlier this afternoon), once again at Sunnyside station, an older man was pushing a stroller full of his belongings, dog in tow, and was also going down the line of passengers waiting for the bus and asking for change. The difference here, is that he was polite about it (Please and thank yous get you far in the world) and was not upset if someone chose not to give.

In response, almost every other person offered this man change and even bills, because he truly seemed to need it and appeared grateful no matter what the outcome was. 

It's true what they say, "You catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar" 

All you can do is keep being sweet, and the world will be sweet in return.

 

Pick a card, any card

The other day I was training home after having a glass of wine with a friend-

It was dark out by now, and though I'm not consciously fearful of the train and their platforms, 

tonight felt eerie as the wind rustled up the leaves and the faint sounds of a heated argument began to emerge from the surrounding area.

I had made my way to the Sunnyside station, and sat on a bench near where the front of the train would arrive, and under a couple of glaringly bright lights, "just to be safe". It was just myself and a few others on the platform when a tall man passes by and stops in front of me, and tells me he has a magic trick to "brighten up" my night. At first I told him my night was bright enough. 

This was for a couple of reasons- Immediately upon this encounter, I had sized him up as

 a) taller than me b) stronger than me c) might be able to pull a fast one on me and d) a man. 

Sad as it is, as a woman you can never be too careful with how you choose to protect yourself and your belongings by always being actively aware and present in pretty much any novel interaction. 

So naturally, my defensive instincts went up- it's nighttime, this strange, lone man is trying to get me to play into a card trick (I've seen instances before where people get so wrapped up in the trick and what the other person intends for them to focus on, that they don't even know their wallet is missing by the end of it.)

As such, I immediately reminded myself of where all my bags were, what was close by, scanned this guy up and down for any possible signs of danger. And after my initial decline, he insisted once more, and I agreed.

He told me to stop anywhere in the deck, to"pick a card, any card", I did and put it back in, and after 7 shuffles, asked me to stop the falling deck, pick up the first card, and sure enough, it was the same 7 of clubs I had selected before.

After that, he went on his way and I continued with my wait for the Somerset departure. 

It really made me think.... and wonder if I was perhaps being paranoid by being so defensive at first, but also I am reminded daily of the necessity of keeping your wits about you. 

It is nice to know though, that even in this world of crime, and wrong-doings and deceit, there are still people out there who want nothing more than to provide amusement- and perhaps, to reassure you that among the darkness, light too, still exists.

Goin' Off the Rails on a Crazy Train

" All abooooard" - Ozzy Osbourne

Today was one of those days, ladies and gentlemen;

One of  those days on the train where you get a front row seat to someone else's bizarre, irrational and tactless behavior.

It was a train ride like most others, I made my way to a center seat and tucked my groceries under the bench. 

Sitting across from me is a lady (too nice) woman who looks relatively unsuspecting at first glance. About 5'5'', probably in her late 50s/ early 60s, greying hair in a long, low ponytail, with dark sunglasses and one of those rolling grocery bag cart things 

 First incident occurs: a girl walks down the aisle and passes the seated woman and ever-so-slightly accidentally bumps her rolling cart with her purse. Seated lady calls down the train after her, "CAN YOU STOP BUMPING ME WITH YOUR BAG" and proceeds to mutter about her under her breath (though still clearly loud enough for other passengers to hear) about how she's such a princess and such a ****ing ***** for bumping into her bag like that, and on and on and on for at least 10 minutes. 

It is worth noting that the girl who had incited this rage had long left the area, if not the train altogether. 

 I was so close to saying "I'm 100% sure she can't hear you" to her, but what happened next made me glad I kept my mouth shut. 

Second incident occurs: A passenger makes the grave error of sitting on the far side of the bench to the seated lady, the other two thirds she has occupied with herself and blocked with her cart. 

The new passenger even asks the lady, noticing that she is clearly perturbed, "Oh, is it okay if I sit here?"

---The newcomer here demonstrated a greater than expected level of train courtesy, I would say- if there's an empty spot, anyone is welcome to it, that's just how the train works. And yeah, it's gonna get squishy or crowded sometimes and it may even force you to shrink your personal space bubble a bit, but that's just the way this cookie crumbles.---

The seated lady just gives her the newcomer the once over proceeds to say "You're such a little b****, aren't you? You're so fat you have to take up the whole bench"

*jaw hits floor*

I could not believe my eyes and ears, this lady just took out all her personal shit on these poor unsuspecting individuals, with no regard to anyone but herself. She then stormed off to the other side of the train- bumping into other people on the way and calling THEM names. 

 Just the most miserable person. The newcomer was clearly hurt and expressed her offense at these words, at which point I just explained that the woman was angry before she even got there, and it wasn't anything to listen to.

Incidents like these are the part about riding the train that puts a bad taste in my mouth; from the moment that seated woman started speaking I had such a bad feeling in my chest and throat and could sense all her negative, seething energy just emanating from her (lack of) soul. They are so much worse than the too-flirtys, the professional-creeps and the rowdy, just-turned-18s that ride the same car because (in most cases) unlike the other 3 examples, there are these people who genuinely place themselves above everyone else and take it to another level by tearing others down. 

These incidences don't happen very often, and for the majority of the time, I feel very much okay riding the train, but when they do occur, it just kind of ruins your day knowing that people can be so callous and rude in real life. No matter what someone may be going through, it is NEVER okay to take it out on someone else, because we're all going through stuff, and to add more negative to that is the most deconstructive thing a person can do

. 

Unfortunately, the only thing you can do when in one of those situations yourself is to not fuel the fire by giving the instigator the satisfaction of knowing they got a rise out of you- it is their way of getting some attention (deserved or not), and somehow making themselves feel important. 

Let them go on their miserable way, acknowledge that what happened was entirely to do with themselves, and then go on your way knowing that these are the few and far-between people that only serve to inspire others to never want to become like them- and that in and of itself is progress enough. 

Chatty Strangers

Rule #1 : Don't talk to strangers.

Right, right?

Isn't that what we've all been talk from a young age in order to protect ourselves from the potential evils of the world, even if it means closing off or blocking potential good vibes?

Regardless, talking to strangers on the train is something I can't seem to avoid no matter how hard I try.

For some reason it is always me, not the person closer to them, or across from them, that these "strangers" seem to enjoy striking up a conversation with. 

While on the train I am accustomed to routinely putting my earphones in and shutting out the loud/obnoxious sounds and passengers that typically accompany the ride. 

Even so, you get one of those people from time to time, who, though they can see you have your headphones on and are not in a prime chatting position, they will talk in your general direction until it becomes rude to ignore them .

Today was one such a time; 

Minding my own business per usual in a centre seat off to the side, when suddenly a man who seconds prior publicly announced "I'm drinking!" cracked another cold one and slouched down beside me in an uncomfortably close kind of way. The typical dialogue ensued: 

Random: "Hey, what's your name"

   Me: *pauses, thinks up fake name* : "Karen"

Random: "Karen, I like that! Hey, I'm Will" 

Me: "Nice to meet you"

Will: "Nice to meet YOU. Hey, I think you're really beautiful"

---- all the real charmers ride the train, true story----

Me: *uncomfortable laughter* "Thanks"

Will: "Hey, you got a boyfriend?"

Me: "Yep"

Will: "Are you gonna let me push him out?"

Me: "Uhhhh no."

Will: "Just say 'you can't snag me'"

Me: "Why?"

Will: "Because then I'll back off!"

Me: "Fine, you can't snag me"

Will: " Ohhhhh you said it! What a cool girl" 

Le sigh. I then went back to my ipod/phone/fb/twitter/anything else scanning and he chatted up the girl across the way, so at least I wasn't alone in experiencing these occurrences this time. 

But, it made me wonder; this character and most characters I have met on the train, though forward, generally mean no harm. They may be too flirty/ weird/ drunk, but they aren't causing any real disturbance, are generally just overly friendly and probably just want to talk to someone. 

So long as you know your boundaries, perhaps being open to strangers and their subsequent, undoubtedly equally strange conversations isn't the worst thing in the world.

Have you ever...

Have you ever been so mad at yourself 

that you feel the internal combustion/ urge to throw up come on at the same time?

I felt that way tonight.

For tonight was the night I accidentally left one of my bags on the "crack mac's" station platform after sitting down to rest between train transfers. It was only when I got to Chinook station, 20 mins away, that I realized something was missing. 

Rage. Despair. Pure and utter astonishment at your own forgetfulness. 

Despite having left my bag at THE worst station in the city

and with the least hope of it being there upon my return, I set back down the tracks with only the faintest hope that my bag full of pricey workout gear, sneakers, and my lone souvenir of the first Bon Jovi concert I went to (a baseball cap),would still be sitting there where I left it. 

Lo and behold, no bag. As my boyfriend so eloquently put it, a homeless person is probably

wearing my bright blue sports bra as a hat right now.

I can only hope that this donation to the transient population brings me good train karma for at least 7 years. 

All aboard!

Welcome!

Having taken city transit since elementary school I have come across a wide variety of both wonderful and repulsive situations. 

Recently, I have had so many strange occurrences en route that I have decided to turn it into a daily blog in order to properly document and sequence and share these moments, destined to live on forever no longer solely in my mind, but now in the far corners of the internet as well. 

Spending so much time every day just getting to my destinations has allowed me to see every type of person you can think of, and I am considering turning it into somewhat of a (consent-given) photo project should I work up the nerve, but for now, here is the best and the worst of what goes on inside the buses, trains and stations of my daily commute via Calgary Transit.

Here goes!