Goin' Off the Rails on a Crazy Train

" All abooooard" - Ozzy Osbourne

Today was one of those days, ladies and gentlemen;

One of  those days on the train where you get a front row seat to someone else's bizarre, irrational and tactless behavior.

It was a train ride like most others, I made my way to a center seat and tucked my groceries under the bench. 

Sitting across from me is a lady (too nice) woman who looks relatively unsuspecting at first glance. About 5'5'', probably in her late 50s/ early 60s, greying hair in a long, low ponytail, with dark sunglasses and one of those rolling grocery bag cart things 

 First incident occurs: a girl walks down the aisle and passes the seated woman and ever-so-slightly accidentally bumps her rolling cart with her purse. Seated lady calls down the train after her, "CAN YOU STOP BUMPING ME WITH YOUR BAG" and proceeds to mutter about her under her breath (though still clearly loud enough for other passengers to hear) about how she's such a princess and such a ****ing ***** for bumping into her bag like that, and on and on and on for at least 10 minutes. 

It is worth noting that the girl who had incited this rage had long left the area, if not the train altogether. 

 I was so close to saying "I'm 100% sure she can't hear you" to her, but what happened next made me glad I kept my mouth shut. 

Second incident occurs: A passenger makes the grave error of sitting on the far side of the bench to the seated lady, the other two thirds she has occupied with herself and blocked with her cart. 

The new passenger even asks the lady, noticing that she is clearly perturbed, "Oh, is it okay if I sit here?"

---The newcomer here demonstrated a greater than expected level of train courtesy, I would say- if there's an empty spot, anyone is welcome to it, that's just how the train works. And yeah, it's gonna get squishy or crowded sometimes and it may even force you to shrink your personal space bubble a bit, but that's just the way this cookie crumbles.---

The seated lady just gives her the newcomer the once over proceeds to say "You're such a little b****, aren't you? You're so fat you have to take up the whole bench"

*jaw hits floor*

I could not believe my eyes and ears, this lady just took out all her personal shit on these poor unsuspecting individuals, with no regard to anyone but herself. She then stormed off to the other side of the train- bumping into other people on the way and calling THEM names. 

 Just the most miserable person. The newcomer was clearly hurt and expressed her offense at these words, at which point I just explained that the woman was angry before she even got there, and it wasn't anything to listen to.

Incidents like these are the part about riding the train that puts a bad taste in my mouth; from the moment that seated woman started speaking I had such a bad feeling in my chest and throat and could sense all her negative, seething energy just emanating from her (lack of) soul. They are so much worse than the too-flirtys, the professional-creeps and the rowdy, just-turned-18s that ride the same car because (in most cases) unlike the other 3 examples, there are these people who genuinely place themselves above everyone else and take it to another level by tearing others down. 

These incidences don't happen very often, and for the majority of the time, I feel very much okay riding the train, but when they do occur, it just kind of ruins your day knowing that people can be so callous and rude in real life. No matter what someone may be going through, it is NEVER okay to take it out on someone else, because we're all going through stuff, and to add more negative to that is the most deconstructive thing a person can do

. 

Unfortunately, the only thing you can do when in one of those situations yourself is to not fuel the fire by giving the instigator the satisfaction of knowing they got a rise out of you- it is their way of getting some attention (deserved or not), and somehow making themselves feel important. 

Let them go on their miserable way, acknowledge that what happened was entirely to do with themselves, and then go on your way knowing that these are the few and far-between people that only serve to inspire others to never want to become like them- and that in and of itself is progress enough. 

Chatty Strangers

Rule #1 : Don't talk to strangers.

Right, right?

Isn't that what we've all been talk from a young age in order to protect ourselves from the potential evils of the world, even if it means closing off or blocking potential good vibes?

Regardless, talking to strangers on the train is something I can't seem to avoid no matter how hard I try.

For some reason it is always me, not the person closer to them, or across from them, that these "strangers" seem to enjoy striking up a conversation with. 

While on the train I am accustomed to routinely putting my earphones in and shutting out the loud/obnoxious sounds and passengers that typically accompany the ride. 

Even so, you get one of those people from time to time, who, though they can see you have your headphones on and are not in a prime chatting position, they will talk in your general direction until it becomes rude to ignore them .

Today was one such a time; 

Minding my own business per usual in a centre seat off to the side, when suddenly a man who seconds prior publicly announced "I'm drinking!" cracked another cold one and slouched down beside me in an uncomfortably close kind of way. The typical dialogue ensued: 

Random: "Hey, what's your name"

   Me: *pauses, thinks up fake name* : "Karen"

Random: "Karen, I like that! Hey, I'm Will" 

Me: "Nice to meet you"

Will: "Nice to meet YOU. Hey, I think you're really beautiful"

---- all the real charmers ride the train, true story----

Me: *uncomfortable laughter* "Thanks"

Will: "Hey, you got a boyfriend?"

Me: "Yep"

Will: "Are you gonna let me push him out?"

Me: "Uhhhh no."

Will: "Just say 'you can't snag me'"

Me: "Why?"

Will: "Because then I'll back off!"

Me: "Fine, you can't snag me"

Will: " Ohhhhh you said it! What a cool girl" 

Le sigh. I then went back to my ipod/phone/fb/twitter/anything else scanning and he chatted up the girl across the way, so at least I wasn't alone in experiencing these occurrences this time. 

But, it made me wonder; this character and most characters I have met on the train, though forward, generally mean no harm. They may be too flirty/ weird/ drunk, but they aren't causing any real disturbance, are generally just overly friendly and probably just want to talk to someone. 

So long as you know your boundaries, perhaps being open to strangers and their subsequent, undoubtedly equally strange conversations isn't the worst thing in the world.

Have you ever...

Have you ever been so mad at yourself 

that you feel the internal combustion/ urge to throw up come on at the same time?

I felt that way tonight.

For tonight was the night I accidentally left one of my bags on the "crack mac's" station platform after sitting down to rest between train transfers. It was only when I got to Chinook station, 20 mins away, that I realized something was missing. 

Rage. Despair. Pure and utter astonishment at your own forgetfulness. 

Despite having left my bag at THE worst station in the city

and with the least hope of it being there upon my return, I set back down the tracks with only the faintest hope that my bag full of pricey workout gear, sneakers, and my lone souvenir of the first Bon Jovi concert I went to (a baseball cap),would still be sitting there where I left it. 

Lo and behold, no bag. As my boyfriend so eloquently put it, a homeless person is probably

wearing my bright blue sports bra as a hat right now.

I can only hope that this donation to the transient population brings me good train karma for at least 7 years.